» Questions About Goals

Are You Setting Negative Goals?

admin — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:13:08 +0000

Question: Why do I keep achieving negative goals? Is there such a thing as a negative goal?

Answer: Setting negative goals – that sounds counterproductive. Who would want to intentionally make something negative, hurtful or harmful a reality? But, that’s exactly what many of us do. A negative goal focuses energy on what we don’t want to achieve.

Answering your question – YES, you can set and achieve negative goals. If you find yourself focusing time, attention and energy on things you don’t want instead of concentrating on those things you really do want, you’re setting a negative goal.

I’m a big believer that you get what you ask for – positive or negative. I’m also a believer in the Law of Attraction – you attract to yourself your most dominant thoughts and consistent actions.

Here’s an example of a negative goal: I hope I don’t fall behind on the business plan I have to get finished before next Thursday’s meeting.

When you read this goal, is it positive or negative? Does it sound like an empowered road map to the future? Does it sound like something motivating and empowering? Does it sound like something you’d like to make reality?

Our example focuses on making something negative reality. Remember that you get what you ask for and if you keep asking for what you don’t want, that’s what you’ll be attracting into your life.

Let’s change the example into something more positive and empowering – “I am completing the business plan before next Thursday’s morning meeting with plenty of time to spare.”

Just reading the two statements you can you see, and even feel, the shift in energy. One is negative and one is encouraging and positive. How are you phrasing and wording your goals? Are they positive or negative? Do you focus on what you want or what you don’t want?

Copyright © 2010 Sharon Michaels – All Rights Reserved

For over twenty years Sharon Michaels has been writing, speaking and empowering women to achieve greater personal and professional success.

Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox. This Ezine is aimed at women who want to successfully work for themselves.

If you’re ready to recognize what may be holding you back and to seriously build on your strengths and talents, you’re ready to coach with Sharon Michaels. “I believe you have the answers to your success inside of you right now, it is my job to ask the right questions. I ask great questions!” Here are details about Sharon’s coaching programs: http://www.sharonismymentor.com

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Can’t Get Around To Setting Goals

admin — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 23:22:26 +0000

Question: Why do I seem to do everything else except set my goals? I know they are important but I can’t seem to get around to working on them.

Answer: The key words in your question are “get around to working on them.”

If you don’t believe in the importance of setting goals, they won’t be important to you. And if they aren’t important to you, you aren’t going to get around to working on them. My question back to you is, why are you reluctant to set goals?

If you’re reluctant to set and work on achieving your goals, something is holding you back. Here are some usual reasons:

Fear of success
Fear of failure
Perfectionism
Procrastination
Lack of self-confidence
Guilt
Lack of belief
Fear of commitment
Fear of disappointment

Writing out goals is making a commitment to success – they are a road map and action plan that will take you positively toward the future. If you’re unsure or afraid of the future, then setting a goal is the last thing you’ll want to do.

Ask yourself this:

1. When I think of the future, what emotions come to the surface?

2. What does the future look like in my mind’s eye?

3. Who will be happy with my successes?

4. Who will be unhappy with my successes?

5. Why do I believe I’m reluctant to commit to my future successes?

How important is it to emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually map out your plan for future successes? Would you rather “fly by the seat of your pants” or know what you want to achieve and when you’d like to achieve it?

You can be and feel more in control of your success, if you’re willing to commit to writing and working a doable plan of action.

Copyright © 2010 Sharon Michaels – All Rights Reserved

For over twenty years Sharon Michaels has been writing, speaking and empowering women to achieve greater personal and professional success.

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Get Over It – Go On

admin — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 09:45:39 +0000

Question: I’ve been disappointed so many times when I try to set my goals and I’m about ready to give up. Is it really worth getting my hopes up?

Answer: I remember a quotation from motivational speaker Les Brown: “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.”

Are you happy with where your life is right now? Are you as far as you want to go personally and professionally? If yes, that’s great. If no, then get over the disappointment and go on.

If you set goals and never seem to achieve them then ask yourself this question: Was I truly committed to the goal I set? The key word in the question was try. Is trying actually making a commitment to achieving your goal?

Making a commitment to achieving a goal means that you are willing to spend time, energy and, if necessary, money to make your goal reality. If you’re not willing to make an emotional and physical commitment, then a goal is just a hope or dream.

Write your goal out in as much detail as possible. In your mind’s eye make it as real and realistic as you can. Commit to a beginning date and a date by which you’d like to see this goal become reality.
Write a plan of action for achieving your goal. Break it down into manageable and doable chunks of time and energy.
Write out your commitment to achieving this goal. Why is this goal important to you and what are you willing to do to make it reality?

If your goal is not important enough to make an emotional, physical and financial commitment, then it probably will not become reality. The question becomes: How big is your commitment to achieving this goal?

Copyright © 2010 Sharon Michaels – All Rights Reserved

For over twenty years Sharon Michaels has been writing, speaking and empowering women to achieve greater personal and professional success.

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I Never Acheive My Goals

admin — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:44:58 +0000

Yesterday I had a coaching client say, “I never seem to achieve my goals. Am I hopeless?”

Here is my thought: No one is hopeless – misguided maybe but not hopeless.

Achieving goals involves a combination of emotional preparation and physical activity. The mindset of success is just as important as the physical activity of working toward your goal. Without the mindset of success, physical activity can be like spinning your wheels on ice – the wheels go around but you’re not going anywhere.

Using words such as never, hopeless, loser, this doesn’t works or it’s a waste of time sets yourself up for failure. These words create the mindset of disappointment and not the mindset of success.

Here’s a short checklist for creating a successful goal achieving mindset:

1. Belief in yourself and your ability to succeed. Belief can make the difference between spinning your wheels and living out your goals. What do you believe about your ability to succeed? Do you say positive things about yourself, to yourself? Do you believe without doubt that you deserve to succeed?

2. Clearly know what you want to achieve. Are your goals clearly written in specifics? Is there a beginning date and completion date? Can you clearly visualize your goal and does it seem “real” to you? Are you specific and definite about what you want to achieve?

3. Is the “why” for achieving your goal strong enough to overcome roadblocks and obstacles? Your inner motivation must be big enough and powerful enough to keep you going forward even when you’re faced with negativity and discouragement. Is your “why” big and strong enough so discouragement won’t deter or dissuade you?

4. Make your goal your own. Is your goal really your goal? Is the goal you are aiming toward and working to achieve really your goal or is it someone else’s? Sometimes, we get caught up in the hopes and dreams of others and we can’t seem to separate their wants and needs from our own. If the goal you’re aiming toward is important enough to you personally, professionally and/or financially, you’ll work extremely hard to achieve it.

If your desire to achieve is strong enough and the plan you’ve set in place is workable, your goals have an excellent chance of becoming reality. The question remains: Do you have the mindset of success?

Copyright © 2010 Sharon Michaels – All Rights Reserved

For over twenty years Sharon Michaels has been writing, speaking and empowering women to achieve greater personal and professional success. Sharon mentors/coaches women entrepreneurs about learning to recognize the things they’re doing that may be keeping them from the things they want.

Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox.

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Goal Achieving – Should You Be Persistent or Stubborn?

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:43:54 +0000

As you read the best-selling books about success, goal achieving and self-development have you noticed the authors consistently praising “persistence” as a powerful success trait? Yet, when some of us become single-minded and focused on getting what we want, we’re called stubborn. Is there a double standard?

There’s even an emotional reaction just mentioning the words persistent and stubborn – Talk about a persistent person and you begin visualizing someone who is inspiring, dedicated and positive. Mention a stubborn person and you picture someone who is difficult, self-centered and negative.

Isn’t having a “never give up attitude” suppose to be a positive trait?

Here’s a scenario:

You set your goals and consistently begin working toward making these goals reality. Months pass and you’re making progress – not a lot of progress but some progress. Family and friends begin to question whether you’re doing the right thing. They even start to say discouraging things about your goals and accuse you of wasting time. You stand up to them – positively and firmly telling them that you aren’t giving up nor stopping until your goals are reality.

Are you being persistent or just plain stubborn?

Here are some traits associated with being persistent:

The act of continuing, regardless of obstacles
Refusing to let go
Refusing to give up; steady and determined.

Here are some traits associated with being stubborn:

Unwilling to change one’s mind
Obstinate, unyielding.

What do you think of this definition from author and speaker Bob Burg?

Persistence is positive and is “results-based.”

Stubborn is negative and is “ego-based.”

Does a person’s perception of what it means to be persistent or stubborn have something to do with labeling the actions of another? Is it personal judgment based on your own likes/dislikes and values/beliefs that makes a difference between someone being persistent or stubborn? What if the person doing the labeling has never set a goal and doesn’t understand the goal achieving process, would that make a difference?

In general, is going for your goals persistent or stubborn? What if achieving your goals won’t benefit anyone but yourself – are you persistent or stubborn? What if the people telling you that you are stubborn are the dream stealers in your life – are you persistent or stubborn?

I believe there is room for interpretation and debate. I don’t know if there is a definitive answer. What do you think? What are your thoughts?

I’ll leave you with this quotation from Benjamin Franklin, “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

Copyright © 2010 Sharon Michaels – All Rights Reserved

Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox.

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I Can’t Visualize My Future

admin — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:36:38 +0000

A coaching client recently said: “I have a difficult time setting goals because I can’t visualize the future.”

Here are some suggestions I gave her:

1. Start picturing an empowering future by setting small day-to-day goals. Thinking six months, a year or five years into the future can be overwhelming for many. Start small, build up the habit of setting “doable” goals and achieving them. The key is to build up your goal setting self-confidence.

2. Make a “wish list” of what you’d ideally like to see happen in your life. The sky is the limit – dream BIG! Don’t think about how feasible it is – focus on what you want.

3. Pick two items you’d like achieve within the next year. Write each one as an affirmation. Example: I, Sharon Michaels, will have a completed Ebook for sale on Amazon.com on or before June 30, 2010.

4. Take your affirmation and write a step-by-step plan for making this goal reality. Write it as a to-do list.

I will write an outline for my Ebook by January 30, 2010.
I will take my outline and turn it into a table of contents by February 10, 2010.
I will work on one chapter per week, writing at least 400 words per day, 4 – 5 days a week. I will complete one chapter a week.
I will send my Ebook to my “editors” to proof and correct by April 30, 2010.
I will begin fine-tuning and publishing my Ebook by May 30, 2010.
My Ebook will be available for purchase on Amazon.com on or before June 30, 2010.

5. As you write out each step, in your mind’s eye actually see yourself working on and completing each task. You are now visualizing the future.

Giving yourself permission to go for your dreams is a powerful success tool. Following steps 1-5 will help make the future more believable and manageable. Visualizing the future is easier when you break the future into doable bite-sized pieces!

Copyright © 2009 Sharon Michaels – All Rights Reserved

Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox.

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7 Reasons People May Be Reluctant To Set Goals

admin — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 13:18:14 +0000

When coaching clients say to me that they are reluctant to set goals, I know there are deeper issues involved.

Here are seven reasons I’ve found that people may be reluctant to set goals – do you have more to add:

1. Many people are afraid they will let themselves or someone else down. They don’t like to be disappointed nor have someone disappointed with them.

2. They are unsure of how things will change if their goals do become reality.

3. Unconsciously they do not feel they are worthy and deserving of achieving and enjoying the rewards of their goal(s) becoming reality.

4. They are emotionally uncomfortable with success and succeeding.

5. They emotionally feel that achieving goals takes too much time and effort and the payoff is not worth it. Emotionally they see more pain in achieving goals than pleasure and gain.

6. They believe either unconsciously or consciously that if they succeed, someone else has to fail or lose. They see the pie of abundance getting smaller, not larger.

7. They don’t want to make a commitment to the future. Many people have a difficult time making a commitment to a task or plan and staying with it until completion.

Many of us view success as an emotional and physical struggle. Success doesn’t have to be a struggle. Goals are simply motivational guideposts toward the future.

Those are seven of my thoughts – what would you like to add or comment on? Please add your comments below. We look forward to hearing from you.

Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox.

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Why Do Goals Stress Me Out

admin — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:06:22 +0000

Why do goals stress me out?

In fact, goals scare me. I feel if I don’t achieve my goals, I’m a loser. Some people see goals as motivating but I see them as stress producing. Any suggestions?

In my coaching/mentoring I hear this quite a bit – goals create stress and pressure instead of motivation and excitement for the future.

Stress is often created by placing unrealistic expectations on yourself. It’s not the goals creating the stress, it’s the emotional expectations you’ve created about achieving goals.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Set a short-term goal that has significant meaning to you. Choose a goal that can be completed within the next six-months. Choose something that is realistic within this timeframe. Example: Change eating habits to make sure you have a healthy breakfast before leaving the house or, clean out and organize the hall closet or, attend at least three new networking events to promote business —- see what I mean.

2. Take out your calendar and schedule a date to begin working on your goal. Let’s take the closet as an example: Schedule every other Saturday morning for two to three months for cleaning out “junk” and then several Saturday’s after that for organizing and arranging the closet. The key – break your goal into bite-sized realistic and doable pieces.

3. Make an emotional and physical commitment to completing your goal! Goals are not achieved if you’re not committed 100% to making them reality. Your goal has to be important enough that you’re willing to commit time, energy and money to making it reality. On a scale of 1 – 10, ask yourself how important is this goal? Why is it important? How will achieving this goal change life for the better?

4. Who can support you and hold you accountable? I’m not talking about someone who will guilt or shame you into achieving goals – I’m talking about someone who will support you in achieving goals. Accountability is often an important element to goal achievement. Who will support you with encouragement and want to hear your updates?

5. How will you celebrate when your goal is complete? The human mind loves rewards! When the unconscious mind believes success is fun, it wants to achieve more successes. As part of setting a goal it is important to visualize how you’ll celebrate its completion. How will the clean closet look each time you open the door? How will you feel when you can find things easily and effortlessly? The key is to paint a vivid picture of success in your mind’s eye of how life will be “better” when your goal is reality.

Start small and work up to long-term goals. Give yourself one goal achieving victory at a time. Eliminate the stress and make room for success!

For over twenty years Sharon Michaels has been writing, speaking and empowering women to achieve greater personal and professional success. Sharon mentors/coaches women on learning to recognize the things they’re doing that may be keeping them from the things they want. Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox.

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Not Motivated By My Goals

admin — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:20:41 +0000

In my workshops, women often say to me: I don’t feel very motivated by the goals I’ve set for myself, what should I do?

Here are a few suggestions:

1. It’s time to revisit your personal and professional mission statements. It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important when you lose sight of your “Why.”

2. Also, check to make sure your values and beliefs are compatible with the goals you’ve set. If there is an emotional disconnect between the goals and your values and beliefs, then it is pretty difficult to keep yourself motivated and enthused.

3. Ask yourself, “Are my goals really my goals or did I write them to please other people?”

4. Have you made the time to create a vision board? Placing motivating pictures and words on your “dreams/goals” board can support your dreams of the future.

5. Have you developed a powerful inner motion picture and visualization of your future as if it were already reality?

6. Have you written affirmations affirming “Why” you want to achieve your goals? Are you focusing on the positives?

7. Is your day-to-day self-talk upbeat and encouraging? Do you speak about your goals becoming reality with unshakable certainty and confidence?

You are in control of setting your goals! Take a good hard look at just how badly you want to achieve the goals you have written. You’ll only be motivated to the extent that the goals are meaningful and important to you.

For over twenty years Sharon Michaels has been writing, speaking and empowering women to achieve greater personal and professional success. Sharon mentors women on learning to recognize the things they’re doing that may be keeping them from the things they want. Sign up for Sharon’s free weekly Ezine Unlimited Success For Women and have professional success strategies and personal development how-to’s sent directly to your email inbox.

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I Seem To Set My Goals Too High

admin — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:05:07 +0000

The beauty of goal setting is that it helps expand your imagination. I like to say that setting a goal should stretch you in terms of dreaming big but not break you. There’s a difference between dreaming big and dreaming the impossible.

The purpose of a goal is to give you focus and direction. A well-written goal will help you aim at those things that are productive, empowering and exciting.

A goal is too high only if the time in which you decide to achieve it is too short.
A goal is too high only if it is physically, emotionally or mentally impossible to achieve.
A goal is too high only if you do not believe you are worthy, deserving or able to achieve it now or in the future.

A huge part of goal achieving revolves around belief – belief in yourself and your ability to stay the course to make your personal and professional wants and desires reality.

Have you taken a good hard look at your goal achieving belief system:

What do you believe about your ability to finish what you start?
What do you believe about your ability to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things?
Do you truly believe that you are a worthy and deserving of achieving and enjoying the good things in life?
What do you believe about being successful and enjoying the rewards of success?

A goal is not too high if you believe in yourself, have a burning desire to achieve this goal and act upon achieving it in consistent and positive ways!

Please, add your comments and let us know what you think . . .

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